As a parent, you spend so many years taking care of your child’s every need that if you see them struggling as an adult, it’s natural to feel inclined to help. In an ever-turbulent economic climate, where younger generations earn less in early adulthood than their parents and carry more student debt, nearly half of parents with a child older than 18 provide them with at least some financial support. It’s nice to help, but it’s also important to recognize when your support might be crossing a line and putting your own financial security in jeopardy. Here are signs to look out for.

Dipping Into Retirement Savings

Are you regularly withdrawing from your retirement accounts to cover your adult children’s expenses? If so, that’s a big red flag for your financial health. Repeatedly drawing on funds intended for your golden years can seriously impact your long-term financial stability and the plans you had for your retirement. Financial experts advise prioritizing your retirement savings before you offer financial support, establishing clear boundaries and a time frame for your support, and encouraging your adult children to save a portion of their income for important next steps.

Delaying Retirement

If you have postponed your retirement plans because you’re still financially supporting your adult children, it means their financial dependence is directly affecting your ability to achieve your personal goals. Is working longer than you anticipated and reducing your time spent enjoying retirement really something you’re comfortable doing? If not, it is time to have a conversation with your adult children about finding a better balance between support and sacrifice.

Increasing Your Own Debt

You probably have some of your own debt – a mortgage, a car payment, and a credit card or two – but are you also relying too much on those credit cards or even taking out personal loans or using home equity to cover your grown children’s expenses? That’s a big risk to your long-term financial health. High-interest debt from credit cards or personal loans can become overwhelming, impacting both your credit score and your ability to put money toward future goals. Instead of accruing high-interest debt, explore ways to support your children without financial contributions. For instance, help them find affordable housing or job opportunities, or guide them toward local programs for financial assistance.

Sacrificing Your Lifestyle

Parents sacrifice a lot for their kids when they’re young. But if you find that you’re constantly adjusting or cutting back on the way you’d like to live your life and they’re already adults, it could be a sign of imbalance. Extending a helping hand to your kids from time to time is fine, but if you’ve given up on hobbies, dinners out with your spouse, or vacations to support your adult children, you might need to reconsider the arrangement for the sake of your own happiness. Consider setting firm limits on financial help while discussing ways for your child to become more independent. Remember, your happiness is just as important as theirs.

Strained Relationships

Money can be a major source of tension for families. Have arguments or feelings of guilt, resentment, or frustration increased between you and your adult children, or you and your spouse, because of the financial aid you are providing? It may be time to reconsider your approach and set some boundaries. It is important that your adult children understand the limits of what support you can offer and why, and it is equally important that you have honest discussions with your spouse to ensure you’re both on the same page.

Neglecting Your Own Needs

Putting your own health or home repairs on the back burner or skipping contributions to your emergency fund in favor of giving your grown children financial support can be detrimental in the long term. You need to take care of your own essential expenses first and to be honest with your children about that boundary. Neglecting your needs extends beyond finances. Consider how overextending support affects your physical, emotional, and social well-being. Otherwise, you could face bigger, more expensive problems down the road that could become an overwhelming financial burden.

Feeling Stressed or Anxious

Financial worries are a major cause of stress and anxiety. Feeling overburdened with financial obligations to your kids can impact your quality of life and your relationships. Take a step back and decide if supporting your adult children is causing more harm than good, to both your well-being and your relationship with your kids.

Helping Your Kids Doesn’t Have to Mean Sacrificing Your Future

The level of support you are expected to provide for your children should evolve as they grow. Once they are adults, you are not obligated to continue taking care of their every expense. There are many ways to help your kids learn to stand on their own financially. Encourage financial literacy and saving from a young age. Offer nonmonetary support like advice and guidance for job searches. Help them prioritize essential expenses – and do the same for yourself. Set clear boundaries if you can provide financial support, like how much you can manage and how long you are willing to contribute, and then encourage a gradual transition to financial independence.

Want to learn more about managing your family’s financial health and planning for retirement? Reach out today.